Balance, objectivity, definitions, and life.

It is not a day that goes by that any of us are involved with communication, either as an observer from some form of media, as a bystander in a coffee shop, or we just simply a fact of life that we must communicate with others in this life to achieve a deep rumbling that demands we connect in some way with others like us.

The problem with this communication facet in our lives is that no one is like us, and we are like no one. Therefore the words which one may use to convey a meaning may be interpreted differently because of any number of bounds. Let me give you the perfect example.

When I was in second grade, my parents returned to the United States from Zimbabwe. After being through two years of a school where the teaching was based off a british system from teachers who were descendants of british language custom etc. So when the little device on the end of my pencil broke while I was rubbing out a mistake, I walked up to the teacher and said "Miss, my rubber (the word I had been taught to use for the "eraser") broke, can I borrow yours?" Well for a teacher who apparently missed the memo that I was not from America, thought I was being crass and referencing an American slang word for a condom. Which ended in a very interesting parent teacher conference.

This is a little extreme, however this goes on all the time. Today, especially the younger demographic tends to be emotionally driven, very right brained if you will, and the recent century seems to be a shift from left brained society  to a right brained society. From personal discipline and watchfulness (thinking deeply, understanding before moving and being objective), to a sense of life to be lived, and emotional fulfillment often at the expense of our watchfulness. This is not "bad" it is just a shift, a reaction who we are now. These shifts and reactions come when the balance has gone to far from the center and as a demographic there is an attempt to regain the balance. So it is not how can we as those who are going to be the next generation of leaders and parents regain all that we have lost, rather how can we harness this new shift and still culture ancient principles which are still held in high esteem in most cultures today.

In a world within the teen demographic, where words and means are extremely build is where these ideas can be most influential in helping conflict and poor communication. I really don't have the answer to how this looks or what it should look like, but I think that there is a sense where we can teach objectivity while preserving emotional experience.

One more thing to think about.

Weddings, have we gone too far?

Okay, so I know that I am probably going to tick at least one person off with this blog, and I hope that if your feelings are hurt or if you disagree entirely that it is because you feel I am off basis biblically, if so, please enlighten me. However, if it is your personal beliefs and traditions which are challenged then honestly that is what I am trying to do!

Okay so I have been doing a lot of research on this, and have questioned many experienced followers of Christ, and gathering data about how others feel by what they write, talk and act on certain things. I have taken time and effort to put this together, hence why I have been silent for awhile. Well on with it,

So I do wedding photography, and I love the beauty of the intricate dynamics which intertwine to produce the event which is to followers of Christ, the epic event of imagery which is the coming together of Christ and His bride, us, the extended church. And because this is the focal point, there are many who will militantly defend the traditions and even some "superstitions" which are surrounding weddings. So my goal is to do three things, first strip away traditions, superstitions, and "developments" of the modern wedding ceremony, and second to propose a few new ways to look at wedding ceremonies, and the functions of these ceremonies, third to challenge people and churches who are so militantly entrenched in unbiblical traditionalism, and superstition defense to maybe drop the stance towards that which does not effect the "gospel" of marriage.

Here are some great, reputable sources.
http://www.pibweddings.com/traditionsorigins.html
http://www.aomdj.com/traditio.htm
http://ashleysbrideguide.com/the_wedding_scoop/article/cant-decide-if-you-want-to-have-a-first-look-don-yeager-advice/

And I am sure that there are many many more resources and there is always trudging through google.

Okay, so I am actually going to refer the reader to a couple of websites where I get this information, because there is just too much to cover. First, many brides will wear  white as to indicate their "virginity", or purity. However this was not the original custom. Many wore whatever dress they could, then in 1840's Queen Victoria wore a white dress for the royal wedding, rather than the Royal silver dress in the past, and then the rich began copying this trend, and so to quote one persons reporting of this, "it was vanity, not virginity which started this trend". There are others which have different brides at different periods which wore white dress, but none of them actually for cause of virginity.

Okay so moving on to something that some church's wedding planners have been quite enforcing, the groom not seeing the bride before they walk in. Tradition, this is only tradition, however if anyone bride, groom, photographer, would suggest that the bride and groom have a "moment" before the actually ceremony and you might have a crucifix pulled on you and sprinkled with holy water.

Okay, the hot topic where ministers, photographers and couples clash, flash at the wedding. Most often the more conservative  the denomination, the more strict the rules are. The argument stands, in their side of the court, that because this is a "sacred ceremony", a "worship service", a "holy institution", etc when the bride walks in there shall cease to be flash photography.  Each to their own, and I have no problem with a church creating rules for their ceremony. Where I have the problem is when they enforce them vis a vie biblical reasons.

Here are my questions which have yet to be satisfactorily answered to this topic. First , if the reason why this is a holy ceremony and should have no "distractions" caused by flash because it would take away from the holiness of the event as it depicts Christ and his bride, then the flash should stop when the groom enters, as he is the representative of Christ, not the bride. Secondly, this "holy event" has had holiness set upon it, as tradition in the church has not held such a protective stance, in my opinion it appears this is mostly a reaction to the recent decline in marriage, and some more "expressive" forms of the ceremony. What I find interesting is that the professional photographer is told not to flash, but I have yet to have the brides mother escorted out of the ceremony for pulling out her camera and flashing away. So while I think there might be a more "correct" way to hold a ceremony, there perhaps needs to be a little less rigidity  forced upon something that is only in the last few hundred years been formed to what it is today.

Biggest question, why have a ceremony at all? In ancient times ceremonies were not what they are today, often just feasts, eating, drinking, just two families coming together, no exchange of vows, rings etc. Each culture has something different to add over time, and is a spectrum, that often times conservatives, who often also only preside in a sliver of the spectrum that is "christianity", are the ones who carve out a sliver from the wedding spectrum and dub it "gospel".

So lets take a long hard look at what weddings really are, what are traditions and superstitions and other things that can be tinkered with, and preserve the core of what is wedding.